I cleaned the window frames, the window sill, the door, the
door frame, the cupboard units, the kick boards, the skirting boards, the
shelves, the cooker, the fridge, the microwave, the scummy soap dish, and… um…
the tray off which I eat my dinner. (It hasn’t been cleaned in months and suggested comparison with a pavement outside a kebab house at 3 o’clock on a
Sunday morning. I do have a dining table but I’ve forgotten how to use it.)
And now I have a headache because I always get a headache
whenever I come within fifteen feet of household chemicals. Worst of all are chemical
so-called air fresheners. If I spend longer than ten minutes in a vehicle with
one of those car air fresheners (so-called) dangling from the rear view mirror,
I get an absolute blinder. I think my brain must be even more allergic to
chemicals than it is to advertising executives.
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