Friday, 22 August 2014

To Russia with Love.

I read that inspectors in Moscow have closed down several McDonald’s restaurants, claiming that their hygiene standards aren’t up to scratch. Funny they never noticed before, isn’t it? Do you think it might have something to do with the sanctions war? I do, but whatever. It strikes me that eating at McDonald’s isn’t a very healthy thing to do anyway, even if their hygiene standards are up to scratch, so it seems the sanctions are doing our Russian pals a favour.

And I have a tentative theory that McDonald’s fast food joints (I can’t call them ‘restaurants’ twice in one post; that would be offensive) are actually feeding stations set up by a superior culture of extra-terrestrials who like human flesh on the table at Christmas, and the fatter the better. So there you go, Russians – two favours in one go. Now you won’t have to lie on a plate with an apple in your mouth, keeping close company with cranberry jelly and roast potatoes.

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