When Phones Had Style.

I was thinking tonight about how splendidly stylish the old candlestick phones were. I admit they weren’t as functional as the later type, since you couldn’t turn your head without having both hands occupied – one to hold the base and the other to hold the ear piece – but there’s an undeniable style about something so simple. You hold this bit to your ear, and you talk into that bit. Primitive and simple. I like things that are primitive and simple (apart from Donald Trump, that is.)

And that reminded me of a scene in the Laurel and Hardy film, Blotto. Olly goes into a phone booth to call Stan. He unhooks the ear piece, which connects him to the exchange, and then speaks into the fixed mouthpiece: ‘Oxford 0614.’ No dial on the equipment, you see. It’s done through the operator. That was in the days when people ran the show, not machines.

There comes a point at which he’s getting increasingly frustrated. He leans forward and yells into the mouthpiece: ‘Don’t you hang up on me!’ It’s the leaning forward that gives it the edge. It wouldn’t be half as powerful if he’d been using a mobile.

And onto another little sidestep:

As a kid I used to be fascinated by characters in films who wandered around the room while they were talking on the phone, holding the base in one hand and the earpiece or handset in the other. I was amazed that the phone would have so much cable attached, and it was the cable I found myself watching. I wanted to see whether it would get snagged behind a table leg, or knock a vase over, or get dragged under a sleeping dog and startle the poor thing. It never did, and that was when I realised that films lie. I suppose it says something for modern times that cordless and mobile phones mean the film makers don’t have to lie any more.

Sidestepping back:

I gather you can get a facsimile candlestick phone these days for under $50. Doesn’t seem much to get a bit of style and romance back into the art of communication, does it? Having your very own operator would cost rather more, of course.