The first was about Sir Patrick Stewart marrying a woman
thirty eight years his junior. I think that’s both enterprising (yes?) and very
brave. Congratulations, Captain.
The second had the headline Men with Smaller Testicles Make Caring Fathers. I wonder how long
it will be before plastic testicle gauges will start appearing on the shelves
of Boots, along with the pregnancy testers.
I think actors and research academics must be competing to
see which of the two groups is the odder.
Meanwhile, if you really,
really want to know my taste in women, you might care to watch the first
ten minutes of this video (or even the whole film if you have the time and
inclination.) This woman is electric. She strikes me as the perfect American
wife. I want one, as long as she’s thirty eight years my junior and doesn’t
want children. Plastic isn’t one of my fetishes. And I have a chronic fatigue
problem, don’t forget.
* * *
I was talking to a man at the funeral who I haven’t seen for
about fifteen years. He looked shocked and said ‘You haven’t changed a bit.’
Mmm…
I talked to another who I haven’t seen for even longer. He said ‘I saw you standing outside the
chapel, and thought “God, that’s Jeff Beazley.” Your hair’s thinned a bit, and
so has your face around the jawline. Apart from that, you haven’t changed a
bit.’
Mmm…
A strange, slightly surreal day. I went and talked to some
cows this evening, just to get some sanity back.
'It’s beginning to kick in, Ted.’
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