Friday, 17 May 2013

One for Inspector Clouseau.

I just read that jewels to the value of $1m have been stolen from a hotel room in Cannes. Apparently, they were to be loaned to the stars attending the film festival.

(That’s odd, isn’t it? You’d think film stars would have their own jewels, wouldn’t you? I mean, what’s the point of swanking around in expensive jewellery if everybody knows you’ve only borrowed it for the night?)

So anyway, there were several reports of a large pink cat having been seen in the vicinity shortly before the theft was discovered. Police have discounted them, saying they were entirely due to hallucinations caused by a vat of dodgy Chianti that was initially thought to have come from somewhere in Eastern Europe. Investigations are now centering on the theory that it was planted by a member of the United Kingdom Independence Party, which wants to re-erect the Iron Curtain along the south coast of England and will do anything to give Johnny Foreigner a bad name.

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