The Lady Fu's Influence and the Lady in Birds.

I had a pleasant surprise today. (Actually I had several pleasant surprises, mostly involving young women and saving money. The Lady Fu was clearly in attendance and in fine form today.)

I went into the Birds confectionery shop in Uttoxeter to get my lunchtime cake, and guess what I found. Cheese scones. Now, readers of longstanding might recall my undying fondness for such comestibles, and so I said:

‘Aha! You have cheese scones. I used to have one with my coffee in Costa, but then they stopped selling them and no amount of grumbling from me seems to have had any effect on their dumb and dastardly leadership.’ (I might not have used quite so many words, but that was what I meant and the dear lady behind the counter took the message.) ‘The problem is, I like them buttered.’

‘No problem,’ replied the dear lady, ‘I’ll butter one for you.’

And so she did, and handed it to me in a little paper bag, and charged me no more than the splendidly low price of 64p which is usual for an unbuttered cheese scone. I was moved to wonder whether she had committed a technical offence by failing to charge VAT, since the amendment-by-buttering could be construed as altering the transaction from one definable as a supply of food to one definable as a supply of catering, but no matter. It’s a borderline issue and I couldn’t care less whether it was technically illegal or not.  Anybody who goes to the trouble of buttering me a cheese scone for 64p is a hero in my eyes, and I promised she would be remembered by posterity through an honourable mention on my blog. So there you have it.

(I wonder whether she knows how to make baked Alaska…)