Crossed Lipsticks.

One of the many strange recommendations I keep getting on YouTube lately involves women’s make-up. I keep clicking the Not Interested button but they keep throwing them at me anyway because they don’t seem to get the message. So I ask the question: ‘Where on earth did Google get the idea that I’m interested in tutorials on the subject of women’s make-up?’ And I’ve had no answer. Until now.

Several times on my blog I’ve made pejorative references to it. I’ve expressed the opinion that women who didn’t wear make-up always appealed to me because at least I could see what I was getting. I’m of the opinion that make-up is greatly – and often foolishly because it can be counter-productive – overused.

So now I imagine some huge, fat-but-dumb creature sitting in the Google machine like the captain of a Vogon spaceship intoning: ‘This man talks of make-up, and so it is logical to conclude that the subject must be of substantial interest to him if not his major preoccupation. And so he will have make-up until it runs from every orifice and eye socket and he is consigned to hell smelling sweetly of chemicals. Resistance is useless.’

The point I’m making here is that there’s obviously some cyber cross-referencing going on and they seem to be getting it wrong as usual. I think it’s time somebody with extended knowledge of the human condition published a book entitled The Place of the Software Houses in the Stress Epidemic Currently Sweeping the World.

I’m also getting repeated recommendations for videos on the subject of gaming. I keep on clicking the Not Interested button on those, too, but they keep on coming and coming. I’ve never gamed (I assume it’s now permissible to use the word in all its verb forms) in my life, and haven’t the slightest interest in the subject. Maybe it’s because I look at the sports pages on the BBC website. Vogon space ship captains are not renowned for the strength of their intellect.