Wednesday, 3 April 2019

Odd Thoughts.

I’m often led to wonder where my propensity for nonsensical thoughts comes from. Tonight, for example, I thought:

A disturbing sense of trepidation hung in the air in precisely the same way that a spoonful of gravy doesn’t.

I don’t know where they come from, you know. They just appear as though from some celestial source. Somebody once told me I’m a poet – and a gypsy one at that – but I’m quite sure I’m not. Whenever I get poetic thoughts I feel suddenly pretentious and decline to continue for the sake of preserving self-respect. (Ditties are OK, though, especially the silly ones.) As for the odd thought above, I have two theories:

1. I’m sure Douglas Adams said something similar in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which makes me merely a plagiarist, not a poet.

2. I’d just read a quotation from Anne Morrow Lindbergh which I thought a little preposterous, and then read the short bio on Wiki and decided I didn’t like her.

Tell you what really bugs me, though. I dislike adverts on principle, but the ones on YouTube are particularly irritating. I click on a track and my eardrums are suddenly assailed by some loud American male shouting at me in a bewilderingly perverse attempt to convince me that his product is the best thing that could happen to me since I took my first breath – and just when I was expecting a gentle Chinese melody to fly me off to the banks of the Yangtze where goldfish play and the scent of peach blossom hangs in the air in precisely the same way that a spoonful of gravy doesn’t. It’s bloody maddening.

The other thing that’s bothering me at the moment is that my cheese addiction seems to be getting worse again. And talking of bugs, I really, really like this song:

 
Cos I get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
And they try to teach me how to dance 

I wish I'd written that...

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