I’m often led to wonder where my propensity for nonsensical
thoughts comes from. Tonight, for example, I thought:
A disturbing sense of
trepidation hung in the air in precisely the same way that a spoonful of gravy
doesn’t.
I don’t know where they come from, you know. They just
appear as though from some celestial source. Somebody once told me I’m a poet –
and a gypsy one at that – but I’m quite sure I’m not. Whenever I get poetic
thoughts I feel suddenly pretentious and decline to continue for the sake of preserving
self-respect. (Ditties are OK, though, especially the silly ones.) As for the odd
thought above, I have two theories:
1. I’m sure Douglas Adams said something similar in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which
makes me merely a plagiarist, not a poet.
2. I’d just read a quotation from Anne Morrow Lindbergh which
I thought a little preposterous, and then read the short bio on Wiki and
decided I didn’t like her.
Tell you what really bugs me, though. I dislike adverts on
principle, but the ones on YouTube are particularly irritating. I click on a track
and my eardrums are suddenly assailed by some loud American male shouting at me
in a bewilderingly perverse attempt to convince me that his product is the best
thing that could happen to me since I took my first breath – and just when I
was expecting a gentle Chinese melody to fly me off to the banks of the Yangtze
where goldfish play and the scent of peach blossom hangs in the air in
precisely the same way that a spoonful of gravy doesn’t. It’s bloody maddening.
The other thing that’s bothering me at the moment is that my
cheese addiction seems to be getting worse again. And talking of bugs, I really, really like this song:
Cos I get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
And they try to teach me how to dance
I wish I'd written that...
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