Saturday, 1 December 2018

The Importance of Being Frank.

My phone rang earlier. I don’t usually answer it because most of the calls I get are junk calls, so I let it ring and see whether they leave a message. But today I was expecting an important call from my ISP and so I picked it up.

It turned out to be a young woman wanting me to take a survey on behalf of the local authority concerning the subject of their recycling practices, so I agreed. She asked a lot of questions, many of which were irrelevant to me because I don’t, for example, use my food waste bin. (That’s because I never have any food waste except potato and vegetable peeling which go in with garden waste.) But we got there in the end and she said ‘do you have anything to ask me?’

‘Yes,’ I replied, ‘something personal.’

OK.

‘Are you Asian?’

There was an almost palpable pause before her tone changed to one you might call ‘guarded’ as she said:

Yes.

‘Thought so. It’s just that I’ve come into contact with a number of young Asian women recently and you all have such lovely voices. It’s a pleasure talking to you.’

It sounds awful, doesn’t it? Smooth, smarmy, a prime example of manufactured charm. It isn’t, actually. It is true that I’ve come into contact with several young Asian women recently, and it is true that they all had lovely voices. It’s just that people don’t normally say so, and I do these days.

I don’t know where this sudden descent or escalation (however you choose to see it) into devil-may-care frankness has come from. Maybe it has something to do with ageing and/or intimations of mortality.

If you have something nice to say, say it now. It might be too late tomorrow.

Is that it? I don’t know, and frankly I don’t really care. What concerns me much more is that my posts of late have been rational things lacking oddness and dotty humour. Where has the enigmatic and often surreal side of my nature gone? Being rational mostly bores me.

Well, I don’t know that either. I suspect it might have something to do with me having a lot of issues lately and they’re coming on the tail of a difficult year. I hope so. I hope Mr Loopy will rise and shine again soon and set a few eyes rolling. I now see that as my major purpose in life.

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