You might remember me being concerned a few months ago about
the fact that women had taken to smiling at me and I didn’t know why. Well,
they don’t any more. They’ve stopped smiling at me now, but a few of them still
stare at me unaccountably, only in a non-smiling sort of way. As you might
imagine, it’s rather worse than simply being smiled at because it carries a
hint of unfriendly intent and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.
Take the woman in one of the charity shops in Uttoxeter for
example. She’s done it quite a few times; she did it again today. And what’s
particularly worrying about her is that she has a very pale complexion and
doesn’t wear make up. When women with pale complexions and no make up stare at
me it reminds me of a recurring nightmare I used to have as a small child,
about a mad woman who lived in a nearby tower and was coming to get me. Oddly,
she never did and so I never saw her face, but the woman in the charity shop
reminds me of what I thought the mad woman would look like if I had - if you see
what I mean.
The thing is, I don’t know why she does it. I’ve always
behaved perfectly properly in her shop. I’ve never made a fuss or tried to make
off with a woolly jumper or shouted at anybody or vomited over the bric-a-brac
or anything like that. I’ve even bought the occasional thing from there. I
bought a Chinese knot only last week, complete with bronze medallion and red
silk tassel, as a present for the Lady Guan Yin who lives in my bathroom. And
I’ve never spoken to this woman apart from saying ‘excuse me’ on one occasion
when she was in the way, and then saying ‘thank you’ when she moved out of the
way, to which she replied ‘you’re welcome’ (which I thought a little odd, but I
suppose I shouldn’t have done.)
And yet she will insist on staring at me intensely and
unsmiling, as though she’s trying to turn me into a frog. And because she has a
pale complexion and doesn’t wear make up, I half believe she might accomplish it
one of these days.
I wonder what would happen if I smiled at her. I’ve never
seen her smile at anybody, not even those at whom she doesn’t stare intensely. I
think I’ll try it the next time I go in just to see what will happen, and
because I quite like her really so it wouldn’t be dishonest. And if the worst
does come to the worst, it might be interesting to become intimately acquainted
with the mindset of a frog. And then a princess might come along and rescue me…
Talking of princesses, did you know that the name Sarah
comes from the Hebrew for princess? I only found that out a few months ago, which is an odd coincidence because…
Oh, never mind. It is nice to be writing something slightly
nutty again. I have so missed being slightly nutty, but enough is enough.
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