Searching for Status.

For some time now I’ve wondered whether I might have some recognisable mental condition that I can lay claim to, but I haven’t found anything so far. Nevertheless, I continue to find my interest piqued when I come across articles on matters mental, and a few days ago I encountered one about Borderline Personality Disorder.

Well, the article wasn’t terribly specific but it said enough to encourage me to Google the term and read the NHS website page. It contained a preliminary questionnaire which doctors use to assess whether further investigation is warranted, and so I duly took the test.

No luck, I’m afraid. I needed to answer ‘yes’ to at least five questions if I were to be considered a worthy candidate, and I only got one. It seems the search will have to continue before I hear some doctor say: ‘Aha, Mr JJ, you have Garfunkel’s Grey Cell Lapsidosis. We can give you prescription medication for that and you’ll be a whole lot easier to understand.’ And I can reply: ‘Actually, I’d prefer it if you’d keep the medication on the shelf. Is there any chance I could have a prescription for a printed T shirt which says Certified Loony. Keep Away?’