On Feeling Singular.

I don’t want to look like a hippie. I don’t want to look like a self-styled druid. I don’t want to look like a dilettante. I don’t want to look like a down and out. I don’t want to look like a follower of fashion. I don’t want to look upper class with my nose in the air. I don’t want to look lower class and sport a beer belly as a badge of inverted superiority. I want to look normal.

But that isn’t because I am normal; I’m not. I never have been. I think differently than normal people, I feel differently, I respond differently. Things that happen to me are often things which rarely happen to normal people. And methodologies which work for most people rarely work for me. I need the opposite, or at least something unconventional. I’m allergic to those who try to teach me, only learning from those whose instruction is accidental.

So why do I want to look normal? In order to be invisible so that I can observe without being seen to be observing. And because I don’t join clubs, follow trends, or subscribe to any societal type. And that doesn’t make me a snob, just an inveterate observer. I suppose it’s the lot of aliens and old souls.

Please excuse my excursion into self-indulgent rambling. It’s late, I'm mildly intoxicated, and I’m missing the magic which I’m sure is there somewhere.