Friday, 30 October 2015

Words for a Sad Life.

I learned two new words tonight: meme and lolcat.

People like me have a problem, you see. We know what words like parsimonious and effulgent mean, and we find it quite staggering that there are those who confuse sight, site and cite. But when we read a headline informing us that a Taiwanese model’s life has been ruined by a meme, we find ourselves entering a state of pointless, if amusingly lurid, speculation as to its definition. Eventually we give up and type it into Oxford Dictionaries Online.

Oh, right. Got it now.

But in so doing we discover a bonus: Oxford Dictionaries Online has a lolcat generator. We can type anything into the box and said facility will translate it in real time into lolcat language while we continue to be amused by the picture of a tabby cat wearing a red bonnet with horns. For about 60 seconds, that is, and then we get bored. So then we find ourselves asking two questions:

What is the world coming to?

Has my brain shrunk so much that it can be amused for even 60 seconds by a picture of a tabby cat in a red bonnet with horns translating ‘I am’ into ‘I iz?’

And then we use the experience to create a most inconsequential blog post, hoping that only thoze wot noze wee int az sad az wee seams read it.

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