La Belle France.

With all due respect to everybody everywhere in the world, I have to say that I got quite a lift when I saw that somebody from France has visited my blog. Amelie, La Mer, Monsieur Hulot...

And it reminds me of a funny story.

The parents of an ex of mine went to France on holiday. Her mother was reasonably fluent, but her dad wasn’t. He was an old time Lancastrian who still commented on the lowering sky of an approaching storm with the time-honoured phrase ‘Ee, it’s a bit black over Willie’s ’en pens.’

They stopped at a service station, and dad decided he wanted a map. He asked his wife to make enquiries. She remonstrated with him, saying that all he needed to converse with the locals was confidence. ‘Don’t try to translate,’ she said, ‘just BE French.’

OK.

He went up to the assistant, performed the best Gallic shrug he could muster, and said ‘Got a map?’

Whoever it was who looked in, bonjour et bienvenue.