A Matter of Shire Security.

Did you know that one of the many conspiracy theories which found the light of day over the past couple of decades is a belief that squirrels are highly evolved beings plotting to take over the world? Seriously. I read it in a book…

Well, although I’m not entirely averse to all conspiracy theories, I was tempted to disregard that one. Now I’m not so sure. A squirrel has taken to watching me, surreptitiously.

The other day he was sitting in a tree, watching me through the bedroom window when I was making the bed. The next day he was on the paved area in front of the greenhouse, watching me through my office window. Today, he was eying me furtively around the corner of the old gate at the bottom of the garden. And here’s what’s odd:

For several weeks the peanuts in my bird feeder were disappearing at a rate of knots, which is about the speed at which squirrels devour them, but now they’re hardly being touched. Does he think I’m onto him, perhaps? Is he cautious enough not to risk eating peanuts which might possibly be doctored with scopolamine? OK, it might just be that the acorns are ripe now, and squirrels might prefer ripe acorns to second rate peanuts. But you can’t be too careful, can you? This could be the classic game of bluff and double bluff. And is it mere coincidence that the ancestors of the grey squirrels which now enjoy unchallenged access to most of Britain came from America? I think not.

On my guard. Ever vigilant. No fool me.