The Culture Divide and Cracking Up.

I made a joke recently on a YouTube video made by the Tan twins from Singapore. They didn’t get it. I assumed it was because they’re Chinese and that the Chinese have a different sense of humour than we westerners. By way of an example, here is China’s Number One joke:

An old man was walking along a track between two mountains in the region of Jiangnan. One mountain said to the other:

‘Let’s jump on him and crush him.’

‘We can’t,’ said the other mountain.

‘Why not?’

‘We’re mountains. We can’t move.’

‘Oh, no. Forgot about that. Damn.’

I’ve heard it said that when that joke was told on State Radio one morning during the rush hour, the whole of Beijing came to a standstill because all the drivers were immobilised by convulsive laughter. And here’s China’s Number Two joke:

During a particularly bad smog in Beijing, a woman said to her husband:

‘Let’s take a drive out of the city and escape this suffocating air.’

‘We can’t,’ said her husband.

‘Why not?’

‘We wouldn’t know which road to take. It’s too foggy.’

‘Oh, right. Didn’t think about that. Damn.’

See what I mean? And it’s an interesting feature of Chinese jokes that they’re required by law to end with the word ‘damn.’ I gather it comes from the days of Chairman Mao when all statements which carried a note of levity were required to end with: ‘Damn the Yankee Imperialists,’ but that this has now been relaxed to a simple ‘damn’ for old time’s sake and in the cause of economic exigency.

And I must point out here to any Chinese person who might read it that this post is also a joke. I’m something of a Sinophile and have considerable respect for your music, your dance, your art, your sense of civilisation, your quiet and restrained mannerisms, your peaceful outlook on life, your respect for natural forces, your goldfish, your bulgy-eyed dragons, your humpity bridges, your peach blossom, your pepperpot mountains, your attitude towards the sanctity of tea, your noodles, and your maidens – especially the Tan twins from Singapore. And the yangqin happens to be my favourite musical instrument when played in the Chinese style. Greetings Chinese people.

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Vis-à-vis last night’s embittered post, it will be noted that I found the computer in the bell tower. Only I have to use it sparingly because Esmeralda keeps hanging around and if she spots me she will probably shriek, and that would hurt my feelings. At least there are no mirrors up here.

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And at the risk of being sued by somebody, here are the Tan twins from Singapore:

 And this is one of their best videos: