But times have changed. Nowadays there would be only two names available to new mothers.
‘And what’s your name, little chap?’
‘People With Funny Hats And Pieces Of Cloth Covering Their Noses And Mouths, Miss.’
Thank you. And what’s your name, little girl?’
‘Machine With Moving Green Zig-Zaggy Lines, Miss.’
I suppose the odd exception might come along in those cases where the sprog insists on coming into the world on the back seat of a car before they make it to the hospital. He or she could be called Policeman Wiping The Sweat Off His Brow, but they would be a rarity. Are we going in the right direction?