Seduced by Black Friday.

It was Black Friday in Britain today. (Maybe it was Black Friday everywhere in the known universe today. That would be apposite since it also happened to be my birthday and my mood was as dark a shade of grey as makes no difference.)

The police were out in force in several major cities, I gather, attempting to control the mobs. A woman in Manchester was injured by a falling TV set. I decided to make a foray to the lawless wasteland of the retail park and join in the mindless melee, just to prove what a committed citizen of our free market democracy I really am.

There was no mob, no melee, no shop assistants armed with tasers, no wrecks, and nobody drownded, but still I did my duty and bought things. This is the list:

1 tube of toothpaste

1 bottle of mouthwash

1 yard broom to replace the old one which, like me, has few bristles worth counting

2 packs of rolled oats for the birds

1 bottle of beer on special offer (it's the only thing that was)

So now I belong. I’m a consumer at last. Hooray.