In Mocking Mode.

While I was out today I looked at what was available by way of appointment calendars to grace my office wall next year. It came down to a choice between two: pictures of Rhianna or pictures of Beyoncé. They had none featuring Justin Bieber, alas.

So what sort of humour am I employing here, would you say? Facetious? Nope. Sarcastic? Not quite. Sardonic? That’ll do: sardonic. It fits my mood.

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I was going to make a post last night on the latest entry in the Sherlock Holmes stakes, but by the time it finished I was too tired and a little inebriated so I couldn’t be bothered. It was made late in the series and I think everybody was getting tired by then (and maybe a little inebriated.) Points to note were:

1. The story concerned the murders of several young women who’d all had their right forefingers chopped off. The Commissioner of Police from Scotland Yard calls his men together and tells them:

‘This is the work of a terrible fiend who murders first and mutilates afterwards.’

Note the emphasis on ‘afterwards.’ Given the order of words and placement of the emphasis, this can only mean one thing. In the Commissioner’s opinion, the murderer would have been less fiendish had he mutilated his victims before killing them. I’d say that’s a bit sloppy on somebody’s part.

2. We had to have the obligatory footprints again. We did, in the sitting room this time. ‘Look at these footprints, Watson. The fact that they’re muddy tells me that the assailant must have come in from the garden.’

Clever chap, Holmes. I think there are three more to go, one of them set in Washington, DC. I’ll bet the footprints will be the biggest of all in that one.