A Little Absurdity

Mel was trying to describe a feature on the arm of a woman she’d been sitting next to in a lecture. She got as far as the adjective ‘blubbery,’ but couldn’t think of a suitable noun for it to modify.

‘Excrescence?’ I suggested.

‘Yes, that’ll do.’

And then I realised what a splendid phrase ‘blubbery excrescence’ is – so horridly evocative that it stands happily alone without need of a context. It reminds me of that scene in Waiting for Godot in which Pozzo looks at the sky and pointlessly exclaims ‘Effulgent!’

And so I’m tempted to stand in the checkout queue at Sainsbury’s and exclaim ‘blubbery excrescence!’ just to see whether it attracts any applause.