Have you noticed how all the heroes in LOTR have long hair? The elves have elegant, girly styles with dangly bits at the side, the humans all have Jesus hair, and the hobbits have bushy cuts. My hair, in pitiful contrast, is looking more like Golum’s as each day passes. So if I start cheating, conniving, lying, and developing a taste for raw fish, I’ll know which way the wind is blowing. And I’ll just have to hope that I can stay downwind of everybody else.
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