Steaming.

I’m having an angry day today. Everything I encounter is making me angry. YouTube videos – and especially the woolly-minded and hatefully obsequious comments – are making me angry. News reports are making me angry. Crappy American films reflecting the crappier side of American culture are making me angry. Corporate customer service assistants who try to manipulate me into doing their bidding while getting the facts wrong and talking complete gobbledegook in the process are making me angry. (Especially the latter. Where does the corporate world get its customer service assistants from? The ranks of Bedlam dropouts?) And am I the only person who thinks Hermione Granger is the perfection of womankind except when she’s descending the staircase at the Tri Wizard’s Ball looking like a CGI representation of a soggy Disney princess?

I fancy getting properly drunk, but I wouldn’t like the consequences.

(And talking of Hermione Granger - and just in case anybody is interested - my 'perfect woman' had to have all the following attributes:

1 Not wearing make up because she didn't need it.
2 Being dressed either in a baggy sweater and scruffy jeans, or one of my shirts and nothing else.
3 Having long, natural and unrestrained hair.
4 Being blessed with an open mind on matters existential.
5 Being possessed of more intelligence than me so she could slap me down with a velvet glove whenever I started talking nonsense.

I was always turned off by pretentious make up, plastic hair, ball gowns, and frilly lingerie.

And still I never found one. And now I'm too old, so none of it matters anyway.