Thursday, 3 March 2016

Distractions and Ditties.

I was walking around the town today – trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to dodge the biting wind accompanied by frequent showers of rain, sleet and snow – when I suddenly remembered Douglas Adams’s Triple Breasted Whore of Somewhere-or-other. A ditty dropped in, as they do:

The girl from the cosmos was hot
She looked like an angel on pot
Her legs numbered seven
Which all climbed to heaven
And one extra breast is a lot

This is what I do when I’m not being distracted by Shetland Ponies, bargains in charity shops, and supermarkets which don’t have my favourite bread in stock. And I have to admit that the model for the piece was the Croatian girl who used to sell calendars in Derby shopping mall, but she only had two legs and wouldn’t do. How many of the other things she had, I really couldn’t say.

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