On Standards and Silent Draws.

I’ve said before that people without standards must have a relatively easy life, since they can slouch through the whole experience without bothering to maintain anything. Those who do have standards owe it to themselves to live up to them, since only by so doing can they approach the final curtain with any vestige of hope that they might have got something right.

And so it was that I was sitting with my lunchtime bag of chips – watching the multitude pass by and wondering who was the aid worker and who the estate agent – when I decided that today’s maxim should be:

When you feel the horse fly bite, don’t swat it. Blow it away gently, preferably in the direction of a horse.

The horse won’t thank you, but at least you’ll be paying funds into the karmic bank account. (See, it all comes back to self-interest in the end.)

*  *  *

And since I mention estate agents, the next bit of Catherine Tate might amuse. (And incidentally, for those not familiar with iconic British TV shows I should explain something, just so you get one of the jokes. Silent Witness is about a team of forensic pathologists. It has lots of scenes set in the mortuary where non-speaking bit part actors in green pyjamas pull open big metal draws that slide silently and efficiently on well oiled bearings to reveal waxy corpses with body parts missing.)