Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Another Retrospective.

Nothing of any note happened today (apart from the loud cracking sound that crossed the sky from horizon to horizon this afternoon and was probably some kind of thunder I’ve never heard before, and the oddly heavy sound of something rushing past me on the other side of a hedge which resurrected my suspicion that there might be wild boar in these ’ere parts) so I thought I’d do a list again.

The last one was five things I want to happen before I die. This one can be five things I tried to do, but failed at miserably.

1. Play the piano. How the hell do people play one tune with one hand and a different one with the other? I reckon the piano was invented for women, and any man who is a good pianist should be a little embarrassed at the fact.

2. Play chess. My daughter beat me easily when she was twelve. I was a little embarrassed, but also proud.

3. Ride a horse. It’s a moving animal and the saddle is slippery, so how do you stay on? The only time I tried it they gave me a horse called Satan. It was when I learned that horses are not only intolerant of novices, but also laugh silently.

4. Write poetry. Nope. It requires the natural propensity to be succinct, and I’m a rambler.

5. Conquer my acrophobia (which has nothing to do with vertigo.) It’s amazing how your legs will happily obey your brain up to a certain height, and then suddenly hang up on you. I never feared falling, of course; it was the prospect of landing that troubled me. I dreamt about it frequently as a child.

So there you have it. Maybe I can do a post on Five Things I was Good At next. I can think of only two so far, so that list will have to wait.


Anonymous said...

I'm very good at 2 of 5 on your list. Guess which ones.

- S.

JJ Beazley said...

A challenge? Wow.

Number 3 certainly. As for the others, the most obvious would be 1 or 4, but maybe I'll go out on a limb and take 2. You are a New Yorker after all.

Anonymous said...

Nice job. Numbers 1 and 3 are the winners. I can play chess, but not particularly well (I learned from a male friend in high school when he tried, unsuccessfully, to woo me). And my poetry is plain silly.

JJ Beazley said...

Damn. My first instinct said 'piano.' And then the brain muscled in as usual (swaggering, as it does) and told me it wouldn't be that obvious. Trusted the wrong one again.

Anonymous said...

Ego, ego, ego. Never listen. Always trust that intuitive voice.

JJ Beazley said...

I agree, but the problem comes with recognising true intuition. It's easily confused with the instinctive desire for wish-fulfilment, and I haven't got to the point yet where I trust myself to know the difference. Not usually, anyway. I sometimes go with what I think is intuition, but I'm sometimes wrong.

Anonymous said...

I feel you. There have been not a few times where I misjudged for that same reason.

Anonymous said...

That was an awkwardly written sentence. I don't like it.

JJ Beazley said...

Fear not. I'm a gentleman. Intuition gave me the right sense (I think) first time.