Noticing the Important Things.

Tonight’s women’s footie was the second semi-final between Germany and France. It was nothing like the visual feast served up in the France-Netherlands match. The French were wearing white shorts instead of their previous all-blue kit, and the Germans were in black and white. Chromatically, it was an utter disaster.

There were two stand-out performers, though. The French captain looked like a voodoo priestess wearing the mane of a lion she’d killed with the power of her glance just because she could. In complete contrast, the German goalkeeper was a Nicole Kidman lookalike with easily the best ponytail of any on display so far.

(I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I know. I hate myself. But when you’re still awaiting scan results to give some indication as to whether or not you have a future, objectifying women is a matter of minor consequence. So I forgive myself.)

You might be interested to know that I was supporting the French for two reasons: a) The lovely Hélène I met in a youth hostel once was French, and b) They didn’t invade Poland. But they lost anyway, so I had a slice of buttered toast and got over it.