Sunday, 2 October 2016

On Being Mostly Inconsequential.

The past twenty four hours in the life of JJ (me, in case you hadn’t noticed) have been singularly uneventful. As the man said: there were no wrecks and nobody drownded, in fact nothing to laugh at at all. I do feel, however, irresistibly drawn to making some sort of a post, since there’s nothing else I feel like doing and I’m bored. Accordingly, a few morsels of inconsequential minutiae will have to suffice.

1. I went for a walk today and spoke to a woman who evidently lives locally, but who I’d never seen before. She couldn’t have known who I was, either, because she talked back; she even smiled. Local people who know who I am rarely smile unless there’s at least one other person present to provide moral support.

2. There was a sparrow hawk in the garden attacking my birds. It even followed them into a rose bush and there was much mayhem to be witnessed. As far as I could tell, watching initially from the window, the little birds all managed to escape, and when I made my presence evident the sparrow hawk left the scene. I felt sorry for it in a way. Sparrow hawks have to eat too, but the birds in my garden are sort of family to me, and nobody likes having a member of their family eaten.

3. Talking of family, I sent an email to my young granddaughter explaining at some length why the having of a high IQ is not necessarily something to crow about. It was written in true JJ style, which is probably why she hasn’t replied. I expect she has me down as a clever clogs who is best ignored.

4. I sent another email to the priestess inviting her to accompany me up the Yangtze. It finished with: not this time round, of course, but in a far off future when the world is young again. I love it when creamy little phrases like that slip off the keyboard with consummate ease. It usually happens when I’m drunk. She hasn’t said ‘yes’ and she hasn’t said ‘no.’ In fact, she hasn’t said anything at all. I wonder whether she thinks I was speaking euphemistically and has decided that I’m best ignored.

So that’s about it, really. If I think of anything else I’ll post it later. Maybe I’ll find something of interest on YouTube, like the video I found last night which claimed that the bowel is actually a second brain. There has to be a joke in there somewhere, has to be. Somebody give me inspiration, please.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bowel being described as brain "possibility" sounds about right ,,, considered you really do talk a load if " shit" 😴😴

JJ Beazley said...

Maybe I do, but the question is whether or not it’s entertaining shit. If it is, then a function of sorts is served. If it isn’t, why bother reading it? And it should be self-evident that perception and qualitative judgement vary from person to person depending on how their mind works.

Anonymous said...

It's really not entertaining,,, a little concerning actually