‘Why are you buying black and white film?’ asked his companion.
‘I’ve only got a black and white camera.’
‘A black and white camera?’
‘Yeah. I’ve had it since I was a kid and I’m used to it, so I stick with it.’
‘There’s no such thing as a black and white camera.’
‘Course there is. I’ve got one’
‘Don’t be stupid. You can put colour film in any camera.’
‘I know that, you imbecile, but the pictures would still be in black and white, wouldn’t they, if it’s a black and white camera.’
‘Because a camera is just a device for transmitting light through a lens and onto the film. It’s the film that determines whether the pictures are black and white or colour.’
‘You’re having me on.’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘So are you an expert on photography or something?’
‘You don’t need to be an expert to know that.’
‘Come off it, mate. Pull the other one.’
‘Look, that camera’s never taken a colour picture in its life and it isn’t going to become all modern technology now, just because you’re spouting crap.’
‘I give up.’
‘Good. You follow your road and I’ll follow mine, and we’ll see who gets the better pictures.’
Needless to say, I made all that up. I was sitting having my cup of Americano in Costa Coffee on a wet Wednesday afternoon and I was in that kind of mood. But it could be a bit of an allegory, couldn’t it?
And the rain had stopped when I left, so it must have amused the gods.