Monday, 4 April 2016

Translating Dog.

The dog coming from my right with its human was a Cocker Spaniel with a waggy tail and friendly eyes. The one coming from my left was a smaller something-or-other with a tail and eyes which seemed determined to prove it wasn’t a wimp. As they crossed in front of me, the little something-or-other lunged and snarled at the spaniel.

'Come back, Rattus Norvegicus,' cried its benighted human, valiantly attempting to hold the force of the lunge.

(Actually, it wasn’t called Rattus Norvegicus. I didn’t catch what it was called, but Rattus Norvegicus seemed wholly appropriate.)

Meanwhile, the spaniel made a deft skip to the left which would have done justice to Phil Bennett in his heyday. (He’s a legendary Welsh rugby player noted for having a mercurial side-step.)

As the two dogs (and their humans) walked of in opposite directions, they both looked back. The spaniel’s eyes said:

What was all that about, ya mad bastard?

The something-or-other’s said:

If I hadn’t been stuck on this f****** lead, ya pansy, I’d have bitten your f******* balls off!

Or so it seemed to me.

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