A Few Words in Uttoxeter.

While I was in Uttoxeter I went into Gregg’s to buy my lunch. (Gregg’s is a chain of bake shops which Mel insists sell rubbish food. I don’t entirely agree.) The young woman behind the counter saw me coming. She grabbed a paper bag and the serving tongues and made straight for the right cabinet.

‘Vegetable pastie? Hot?’

‘Yes. You always know what I want, don’t you?’

‘I remember you. Is that so strange?’

‘Yes. I’m not used to being memorable. I think you might get a mention on my blog tonight.’

‘Woo! Is that good?’

(When a Staffordshire girl says ‘Woo! Is that good?’ it can be meant either literally or sarcastically. You have to know how to read the eyes. I do because I was born there. She meant it literally.)

‘Not necessarily, but yours will be. And a piece of bread pudding.’

I’m really milking Uttoxeter today, aren’t I? It’s just that you don’t get this sort of thing in Ashbourne. Ashbourne is rather more genteel (it’s in Derbyshire and a safe Tory seat, don’t you know) and the people tend to be more restrained. Uttoxeter girls have an opinion as to where Ashbourne girls keep their pokers.