I still have a Christmas present sitting in my office
unopened because I didn’t feel entitled to open it. And there was another
package which came in the post about a week ago. That remained unopened too,
because I knew who it was from and didn’t feel entitled to receive anything
from said party. But then I was told that the person concerned had been made
privy to my reticence and wasn’t pleased, since the package contained a gift
from her 6-year-old daughter. That made all the difference. I decided that
anybody, even me, is entitled to receive a gift from a child because it’s one of the few
things in life that is truly free. That’s what makes it so beautiful. So I
opened it.
But I still don’t feel entitled to poke fun at B, 46, who
says she’s ‘voluptuous, seductive and very saucy,’ however tempting her blatant and
amusing descent into the realms of euphemism might be. (Nor even the ‘professional
widow aged 73.’ Or M, who describes herself as a ‘sophisticated solvent
brunette.’ I’ve heard that solvents can be very bad for the health, and I’ve no
idea what a professional widow is.) So I’m not going to.
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