Of all the mindless shite that forces its bloated and unwelcome presence in between sections of programmes which are otherwise watchable, toothpaste ads probably take the biscuit. The screen is filled with a close up of a pretty or handsome face. It smiles seductively to reveal an array of big, perfectly regular, brilliantly white teeth (sometimes they even go ping.) And then the shot changes to one of the Whizzo Toothpaste tube and the message is made: ‘If you use Whizzo Toothpaste, you will have a mouthful of big, perfectly regular, brilliantly white teeth.’ This is patently untrue, but they don’t actually say as much so you can’t accuse them of lying. Nevertheless, the message is explicit enough to allow the reasonable assertion that they’re trying to part you from your money under false pretences. That’s fraud, and fraud is a form of dishonesty, isn’t it?
And then there’s the other one. Have you ever seen a father and daughter brushing their teeth side by side and smiling inanely at one another while so engaged? If ever you do see such a thing, call the men in white coats without delay. Such people don’t deserve their liberty, and neither do those who try to persuade the gullible that their like exists.
I wonder whether I expect too much of life.