The Troll and the Lady B.

I had a comment on one of my posts recently from a troll. It made derogatory reference to my frequent mention of the Lady B, and closed with the words ‘…think you may need some help.’

So did it trouble me? Of course it didn't; I’m not that insecure. And besides, the writer was speaking from a narrow mind mired in ignorance as trolls usually do. The fact is, nobody knows what my feelings for the Lady B are. Even the Lady B doesn’t know and never will unless she asks me, and there’s no reason why she should do that because there’s no reciprocation involved. Nevertheless, I think it might be useful for the sake of avoiding misapprehension that I explain a few things about my perception of said Lady.

I’ve known her for ten or eleven years. In the early days we had a relationship of sorts but it remained studiously undefined. We only ever met and talked by accident; there was never any kind of tryst. She never came into my home, nor I hers. So how did my perception of her develop to where it is now?

Well, I could write copiously about that if I thought it necessary. I could quote facts, statements and impressions to aid elucidation, but I won’t because they’re private. I will, however, say one thing: Whenever I saw her coming towards me with her splendid little dog, the sun came out. It was a warm and life-enhancing sun; there was never anything sordid about it. So let me state the situation simply as I see it and ask that it leave no remnant of doubt or dark, ignorant imaginings.

My feelings for the Lady B are entirely wholesome and healthy, both from my point of view and hers. There is nothing about them that need trouble her. I constitute no threat to her of any kind, nor she to me. I don’t engage in unsolicited, unilateral, unwelcome communication with her. The only email I’ve sent in the last year was to wish her a happy birthday. But make no mistake: she has now taken her place on an exalted, lifelong personal list which comprises only six humans, two dogs and a cat called Dylan. And everything I've ever said about her has been respectful and complimentary.

I like my feelings for the Lady B. What’s more, I assert my right to have them without misgivings or any sense of guilt because there’s nothing about them which is in any way improper. They’re very rare and constitute an improvement in my capacity to feel, and shouldn’t life be ever about improvement? The fact that she has now withdrawn completely from my orbit, and is presumably indifferent to me, is of no consequence. If there's one thing we're all entitled to in this little life, it is our feelings. That holds true for her as it does for me, and so I accept and respect her indifference completely.

And so I will continue to mention her and even sing her praises whenever it takes my fancy. The only thing which would stop me doing so would be if the Lady herself asked me to desist. Up until now she hasn’t, although as far as I’m aware she no longer visits this blog and probably doesn’t even know that she’s one of its star attractions.

And so I can assure the commenter and anyone else of similar persuasion that I need no help, and neither is she in need of unwarranted defence or third party representation. Nothing about my perception of the Lady B is anybody's business but mine. I hope I’ve made myself clear.