Football Fever.

Oh to be in Russia now the World Cup’s here!

I’m kidding. Give me Kiev in its place. Take me to a quiet coffee shop with samovars, there to delight in the company of those fine ladies for which Ukraine is well renowned and who couldn’t give a toss about football, preferring instead to discuss the meaning of life and the value of amicable international relations in delightfully Slavic accents.

I read a headline today which said that Russian women have been officially advised not to have sex with foreigners during the World Cup. You might ask why the government should feel moved to offer such advice; you might consider the different ways of reading it; you might wonder why Russian men have been left out of the picture. I couldn’t be bothered to investigate further. The world just gets stranger and stranger and I think it's about time the spaceship turned up.

I do hope I start feeling better soon.