Sensible Superstitions.

I remember reading a superstition once which said ‘Upon seeing the new moon, kiss the first person you see and you will get a new dress.’ It impressed me, so I thought I’d invent a few of my own.

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Never pick your nose with the third finger of your left hand, or you will be unsuccessful in matters of the heart.

Never eat more than three eggs on a Sunday, or you are likely to die before the following Easter.

Never urinate in a public toilet on the north side of a street, or you will be surprised by an enemy while in a compromising situation.

Never speak to a milkmaid if she’s whistling, or you will marry someone with retarded development.

Never climb stairs if a clock is striking, or you will have difficulty using escalators.

Never answer the telephone at midnight, or your hearth will be invaded by crickets.

Never cross a river if your back is itching, or your hair will fall out.

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If they’re not silly enough, try spotting the references. (But don’t bother asking me because I probably won’t remember by then.)