Poor Joe Soap is an infected person. He’s sitting in the
cinema coughing his guts up, in consequence of which the rest of the audience have
removed themselves to the furthest reaches of the auditorium in order to be as
far away from him as possible. Many of us would consider having so much space a
fortuitous consequence, but not Mr Soap who is unhappy at being alienated from
his fellow travellers on the road of life. He’s the very epitome of glumness.
And so he takes a sip of Lemsip©, and in no time
at all (i.e. the next frame) he’s nestled securely among a crowd of
well-wishers who are now happy to accept him into their company. The obligatory
pretty girl in the next seat even smiles at him, which just goes to prove that
not coughing is not only quiet, it’s sexy.
Ah, but… but… Mr Soap is still infected. Only the signs and
symptoms have been masked. This would appear to indicate that the real purpose
of the preparation is to dupe his unsuspecting fellow travellers into coming
closer so that they, too, will become infected. Thus the infection is spread exponentially
and the good people who manufacture the medicinal compound will be able to con
more and more of us into buying it.
You’d think we’d learn, wouldn’t you?
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