Friday 2 April 2010

On God and Parental Responsibility.

The arrival of Easter has me thinking again about that vexed question ‘Do you believe in God?’ I keep meaning to make a post about it, but it’s a complex and emotive issue that is likely to give rise to offence in some people - mostly because they won’t hear what I’m actually saying, but will process it through a filter conditioned to notions of heresy and blasphemy. That’s why I’ve avoided it so far; I want to be sure I get the words right. One aspect of it has come to my attention, however, and I feel I have to make a comment.

I was browsing through some bloggers recently and came across a woman who included in her interests ‘glorifying God and raising my children for Him.’ Those eight words could generate a sizeable essay on the subject, if not a small book, but I really want to keep this short and to the point.

I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I have no time for the certainties of fundamentalism. Nothing is certain unless it can be conclusively proven. I do feel convinced, however, that there are levels of reality above and beyond what we take to be this world. The question of the metaphysical is far from being a no-go area to me. The problem with this woman’s statement is that it comes in two parts.

The first part causes me no difficulty at all. I fully respect her right to believe in whatever form of Supreme Being suits her. If she wants to glorify her notion of God, it’s nobody’s business but hers. It’s the second part that concerns me.

Of course, it goes without saying that I don’t know exactly what she means by ‘raising my children for Him.’ It might be that she is merely offering them her beliefs by way of benevolent parental guidance. But it doesn’t sound like that. It sounds like a failure to appreciate that her children are not just ‘her’ children; they are independent beings who have a right to make their own choices and follow their own roads. It smacks of an unhealthy level of control and conditioning. It suggests the imposition of unwarranted certainties. And if what I have seen and heard of fundamentalists is typical, it might even amount to a mild form of child abuse.

Maybe I’m wrong; I hope I am. And maybe it’s all part of life’s learning process anyway. Rejecting the values and ideas instilled into us by our parents is part of the process of growing up. You don’t have to stop loving them to do that; you just need the strength to say ‘thanks, but no thanks.’ Therein lies the problem, though: it’s OK for the strong minded, but what about the rest?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I personally wasn't brought up in a Christian house hold, yet looking back, I see now how I was conditioned by society to think as a Christian.

My primary school was not a faith school and yet I remember being told that the reason we eat eggs at Easter is because they represent the rock rolled over Jesus' tomb. That has always been a 'fact' in my head until I realised the egg could merely be a representation of the regrowth in spring - I suppose a pagan symbol?!

With Christianity being such a huge institution in the world, no child will ever avoid hearing these stories, but I feel that if my family had been devout Christian there is a high chance I would have easily fit into that lifestyle and never questioned it.

I believe it is dangerous for parents to brainwash their children with their own beliefs - after all growth comes from change, not generation after generation of stories taken as pure fact!

JJ said...

Do excuse me for having doubts, Hannah. From what little I know of you, I'd say you're far too intelligent and independent of mind to go down any road that wasn't of your own considered choice. It's why I follow your blog - even though I still can't read it (I'll drop you an e-mail later about that) and you haven't updated for a while.

ArtSparker said...

I have wintessed - wtinessed! - a deeply rational seven-year old looking distinctly uneasy at a christening ceremony in which he was "given to Jesus Christ" by the words of the minister. I wanted to stand up and object, but didn't feel it would be appreciated.

JJ said...

I know. I did consider using the word 'sacrifice' in the original post.