The Baby B in Prospect.

A most unexpected vision came upon me suddenly while I was eating my lunch today. I was in the delivery room where the Lady B was negotiating the rigours of becoming a mother. I heard the occasional muffled squeal and felt the energy of natal effort, and then Baby B was held up in triumph. At that point my eyes blurred to slightly overflowing and I felt silly.

This is odd because I’ve never been into babies. My eyes did not blur to slightly overflowing even when my own daughter was born, however much I subsequently came to love her more than anything or anybody else in my life. Maybe I’m growing up, or growing old, or getting closer to whatever life is about. How can I know since there’s nobody to tell me?

And I do realise I had no right to such a vision since the Lady and the new life are none of my business. But life can be a mysterious affair at times, and that applies to affiliations as much as to anything else.

*  *  *

As for me, I’m growing impatient to be well again and disappointed that the process is far slower than I had anticipated. Last night I felt it was going in reverse; I felt more listless, more ill and more in pain than I have since the last time I came out of hospital. Today I’m better so far, but the walk uphill to the top of my lane about half a mile away still took effort and was depressingly slow. (And the lambs I went to see were far away on the other side of the field.)

The Man at the Hospital (one of many with the same title) told me that it’s usual to take 6-12 months to effect full recovery from a kidney removal. That seems like a frighteningly long time, but I suppose it isn’t. And hopefully in six months time I shall be in the right frame of mind to revel in the smile of a growing and special baby.