This was the same stepfather who told me that Etruria and Eritrea were the same place; it was
just two different ways of pronouncing it. The same stepfather who refused to
allow me to continue my education beyond the age of sixteen with the words: ‘I’m
not going to spend good money keeping you sitting on your fat arse in a
classroom. You’ll go out and work for a living like everybody else.’ The same
stepfather who eventually died in a mental hospital, having been moved there
from the care home where he’d taken to sexually assaulting the blind female
residents. The stepfather my mother only married because he told her I’d die of
malnutrition if she didn’t. (My mother wasn’t quite that naïve, but she was
afflicted with a neurotic tendency which can amount to the same things in some
circumstances.) And there’s plenty more.
So do I regret his arrival in my life at the tender age of 6½?
Of course not; I regard him as having been a primary learning experience. And
it’s become apparent to me that nobody really knows what drives another person,
so we cannot judge from a position of omniscience. Besides, if he hadn’t come
into my life that life would have been different, and we can’t second guess
fate. Who knows where my different road would have led? I might have died of
malnutrition.
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