When you see our amazing collection of bargains, you might find that you’ve come out of the house without enough money. Don’t panic! We have a free cash machine right here in store, so you needn’t miss out on any of the wonderful offers we have for you. And if you can’t find it, one of our friendly staff will point you in the right direction.
Do you realise how many levels of deception, manipulation and sheer insult to the intelligence of the customers are contained within that announcement? I do. I hope everybody else does, too.
To be fair, however (because I do so like being fair), they do have one range of products which I wholly endorse. The sell second hand – though effectively as-new – DVDs at £1 each. That’s cheap by anybody’s standard. I’ve bought several and haven’t been disappointed yet.
Today I bought Memoirs of a Geisha (I’ve said before that I’m always about ten years late watching celebrated films.) I watched the first hour tonight and found it riveting. The highlight is the scene in which the Chairman takes pity on the little girl crying on the bridge. It puts light back into life, and I swear the Chairman was me in a former life because I’m the world’s biggest softie when it comes to distressed little girls crying on bridges.
He buys her an ice cream with sweet plum topping, and then gives her some money with which to buy a meal. Instead, she puts the money in a prayer shrine and prays to be a successful geisha one day. I paused the film at the point where, having grown into her teens after being trained by a leading geisha, she’s learned to do the look so well that she can make a passing cyclist fall off his bike. And so it seems that big softies do have their uses after all, which is most gratifying.