This is too much for a young girl of even the undead
variety, and so she collapses to the floor and begins her own process of
expiration. While there is still a little light left in her fading eyes,
however, she looks up at her assailant without any semblance of malice. ‘I love
you, big brother,’ she says plaintively (or so one most assume in spite of
one’s ignorance of Japanese intonation), and her hand falls open to reveal the
gift of an acorn which she was trying to give him. The assailant is mortified
and struck dumb by self-loathing, but all he can do is cradle the young girl’s
body and weep bitter tears of helplessness and self-reproach.
At this point I must explain that the scene was handled
without a trace of the mawkishness which you might naturally presume from my
inadequate telling of the story. The Japanese don’t do things that way; there
is nothing of either Dickens or Disney about them. They tell it straight and
they tell it cold, and that’s why it got to me.
I’m sentimental, you see, and I have no defence against that
unfortunate trait if there is no mawkishness present to hand me the
impenetrable cuirass of self-mockery. This was the Death of Gelert all over again, a
fable which has brought cataracts of tears from the eyes of schoolchildren
since the Middle Ages (or maybe the Victorians invented the tale, but it’s
still a long time.) It’s that irresistible combination of suffering and
injustice that does it. Both are bad in isolation, but combine the two and no
dam has the strength to hold back the flood.
And now I should be sounding off about sentimentality,
asking why it should be regarded as a weakness, a negative quality which is to
be derided and suppressed because it’s a hard life and you’ve got to be hard to
cope with it. I should be proposing the view that if we encouraged the
sentimental side of our natures instead, the world would be a nicer place and
the need to suppress it would fall.
But I’m not going to because it gets complicated. Many
aspects of life, from government to big business, would still be ruled by
psychopaths who win because they have no sentimentality to suppress. And then
there are those who are selective in applying it, and that selectivity is
usually based on prejudice and self-interest. And so on and so forth.
And that’s why writing a blog can be instructive because it
teaches you that you can’t always be as dogmatic as you’d like. In the end you
can only try to be authentic in your own dealings with life, and that means
accepting the consequences whatever they may be.
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