Being rejected by an individual has always hurt, and it still hurts. I wonder why.
Maybe it’s time I grew up. Or got drunk. The latter is not only the easier option, it’s also the more appealing. I’m sure I shall always be a kid in long trousers. Peter Pan, by way of contrast, had three women battling over his favours and he didn’t even notice.
Life is never simple when you’re a kid in long trousers. This will be observed and dealt with, as always.
5 comments:
Because being rejected by an individual is so much more personal, and being grown-up doesn't make it any better. Are we supposed to be above it all? Really?
For me when I feel rejected, I make it about a flaw I feel I have and that I'm unworthy rather than it being about the other one doing the rejecting. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell especially if I'm in a low place and feeling unloved.
I'd like to be above it, Della. For me it's part of the process of subduing the ego. Long way to go yet, though.
I think with me, Wendy, it's more about the blow to the ego than to my self-esteem, although it can be both.
I try to side-step the problem by using the lesson from Lawrence of Arabia.
'Doesn't that hurt, sir?' asks the sergeant as L puts out a match slowly with his fingers.
'Of course it hurts. The trick is not to MIND that it hurts.'
I agree with Della. When you're rejected by an individual, that individual usually has some connection with you and understands more about who you are rather than just that you wrote a story and want it to be published. We also don't expect personal rejection as much as we do business rejection (ie rejection of a fiction story).
My little sister is learning how to deal with rejection right about now. She sent a story she wrote to a publisher, and she's hoping that it will be published because one of her friends is somehow connected. Mom keeps telling her it's no big deal if they don't publish it, but she doesn't believe her...
To be honest, Maria, I was just using that post to release a bit of negative energy. It's one of my little ploys. Sensitive people need their little ploys!
I'm curious to know who your sister has submitted her story to. Pretty much the only outlet for short stories by unknown writers is the internet-based small press. Most of them have strict requirements as to how the story should be submitted, some of them ridiculously so. They also usually have tight notions as to the sort of thing they want. And even if you get everything right, the chances of being accepted can still be very low. It's a market that needs a certain amount of experience to deal with. If it helps, you can tell her that over half my short stories have been published, and yet my rejections still far outweigh my acceptances. I've had two rejections in the last few days. You really mustn't let them be a problem.
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