There was a woman sitting on a typically suburban sofa in a typically suburban house. All the furniture, fittings and pictures were typically suburban. She was wearing typically suburban clothes and had a permed suburban hairstyle. Her husband matched her in every respect, and I felt inclined to wonder whether they’d had their name changed by deed poll to Mr and Mrs Suburbia.
Mrs Suburbia was singing Rule Britannia. With pride.
Get me to a nunnery.
8 comments:
My brother used to sing that song all the time (he's got a great infatuation with all things English). All it takes is the word "Britannia" for it to be stuck in my head.
As far as the suburbs go...
Well, I won't start. I think you can assume my opinion!
How odd! Would have expected the average Irish bloke to be struggling to keep his blood from boiling at the sound of Rule Britannia. Glad we can let bygones be bygones, though.
Suburbia is a most interesting phenomenon. One of the main watersheds of my life was getting away from it and looking back in.
Heeeeeeelp! I'm sending Mathilda in on a stealth mission. Need MJ's help!
Right. She can do the hexing, I'll aim the broom handle. Mrs Suburbia might thank us for it in the long run - when her eyes have stopped watering.
Hee, hee! That reminds me of an embarrassing situation on a Tokyo train...
Didn't know embarrasing things happened in Japan, Mel. I thought everything was far too well organised. Was it something a sensitive chap like me would want to know about?
Ok, here goes, it's a long one!
My brother's ex was visiting and we were taking a rush hour train home, packed in like sardines. Jo who was quite tall, was peering over a business man's shoulder at the comic he was reading so avidly.
She screeched with laughter and proceeded to describe that someone was being rogered by a broom handle and what a perv this business man must be. As we were getting off the train, he turned and said in perfect english " Please take, you seemed to like it so much." Beetroot best describes the colour she turned!
'Ooh. Wet me knickers!
What a cool dude. That's the sort of opportunity I long for. And poor Jo.
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