Keeping Score.

I became a little restive with my computer this morning when it was having more difficulty waking up and functioning normally even than I was.

 

I had arguments with two men at the recycling facility in Ashbourne since they were incapable of understanding that in unusual circumstances it is both acceptable and preferable to exercise flexibility and discretion than stand on the letter of some misbegotten rule.

 

When I was in the town I passed a couple walking their black Labrador dog. The dog looked up at me and I smiled back, at which point he wagged his tail and they moved on. When I saw them later on the other side of town, the dog dragged his humans towards me until he was close enough to put his head on my foot. That was rather moving and much fuss was exchanged. 

The leader of the Conservative party, Kimi Badenoch, has laid her cards on the table. She says that if she becomes Prime Minister at the next election, the rich will be protected and the poor punished. I suspect she's a fan of Donald Trump.

It's turned substantially colder here in Blighty, and I was told today that snow is forecast for parts of the UK next week. I hate snow.

 

I make that 4-1 to the dark side.

Braving the Bug Army.

On a warm, sunny October day like today it's normal to see the south wall of my house liberally populated by ladybirds (ladybugs.) They sit there taking the last warmth of the sun before crawling into the tiny spaces between the casements and window frames where they stay in hibernation for the winter.

Not so today. Today they were running (and sometimes flying) rampant inside and outside the house. Inside they were on various surfaces, the floors, the stairs, the banister rail, and the insides of the windows. Outside they were on the plants, the path, the outside of the windows, and even on me. There was one on my hair, another on my sweater, and yet another crawling around my ear. Doing anything today required stepping carefully across a minefield of ladybirds.

I know ladybirds are just bugs like any other bugs, but their red and black markings make them the very epitome of bug niceness. I remember when there was a range of children's clothing called Ladybird for that very reason. And I hate hurting anything, much less killing a living creature. But the constant need to look out for rampant ladybirds gets a bit tiresome, and I don't know why they're behaving that way this year.

A Striking Contrast.

I'm currently listening to an Irish slow air called Amhran Mhuinse (excuse the lack of fadas but I'm writing this in blogger's own compose facility. And blogger is American, so...)

 

As usual I'm being struck by the difference between the Irish ballad a la Daniel O'Donnell, and the Irish slow air. The first has me running to the toilet in hopes of getting there before I spill the beans, while the second is so hauntingly beautiful and other-worldly that time seems to stop. Fortunately, Amhran Mhuinse is an example of the latter.

On Fighting Bears and Following Ms Woolf.

I'm currently struggling with my computer. Actually, I've been struggling with it for several years now, but whereas the struggle used to be akin to persuading the dog to stop stealing the cat's dinner, now it's more like fighting off a polar which is  trying to convert me to his. It isn't easy. I've seen the polite little notice Gah! Your tab just crashed at least thirty times this evening and probably more, and I've restarted it three times in the hope of persuading the polar bear to clear off back to Svalbard.

But it is fourteen years old, and I don't suppose there's another person in the whole world who is using a fourteen-year-old computer. It's also still running on Windows 7 because it's always run on Windows 7 and Windows 7 is familiar to me. 'Oh, come on,' I hear you say, 'why don't you just get a new computer with an updated operating system?' 'Well now,' I would reply, 'there's actually a blog post in my head explaining why I haven't bought a new computer with an updated operating system. You wouldn't believe just how much there is to say on the matter. You probably wouldn't even believe some of the things I would say on the matter either. I'm a bit strange in some ways, as you might have noticed.' So let's change the subject to something simple and familiar.'

 

While I was waiting for my hungry polar bear to consider its options tonight I had lots of time to fill, and so I read another of Virginia Woolf's short stories. I'm not going to give a synopsis this time, just explain an issue because the contrast between struggling with a polar bear and struggling with Virginia's writing style is most marked and very wearing.

I've never read anything like Virginia Woolf (except when I read her novel To the Lighthouse, of course, when, for some reason or other, I failed to notice the difficulty. Maybe I was in a strange mood at the time. It has been known.) But the point I'm trying to make is simple enough. 'Normal' fiction generally gives you three main elements: facts, description, and dialogue, all couched in familiar, real world terms which the majority of us comprehend without too much effort (apart from Gen Z, apparently, who only want the conversations so they skip everything else. Or so it is said.) 

 

But Virginia's writing isn't like that. You can't swim easily through the flow of a sentence and then step effortlessly into the next one. You have to concentrate carefully on every word, even the prepositions, and you also have to concentrate on her choice of punctuation because even a minor decision can make all the difference to the meaning. (I read a comment from one critic somewhere which said she made an art of the semi colon.) I'll give you an example. At one point in the story she uses the word 'was' where I felt it should have been the subjunctive 'were.' It just sounded more right that way. So I stopped reading for a few minutes and thought about it. No, she was right after all and it was my understanding of the statement that was wrong. And it's almost crippling at times, yet strangely enjoyable.

But you know what? I'm almost looking forward to the day when I can saunter off to discover the undiscovered country, as long as it has no polar bears in it, the literature is clever but straightforward, and nobody ever upgrades computers.

The Peasants Are Back.

The House Sparrow (Passer Domesticus) has long been regarded as the humble runt of the bird world. It was also the most numerous, at least in Britain and possibly the rest of Europe too, and maybe its sheer ubiquity was the reason for its peasant status. It suffered a decline some years ago but is now, as far as I'm aware, back up to something like full numbers. 

In the twenty years I've lived in this house I've always had a resident population of between twelve and twenty birds. One shrub in the garden was their regular perching place during the day, and another was where they retired to roost at twilight. My garden was never without sparrows for the whole of that time and I was very fond of the little guys. I couldn't care less for their peasant status. Most of my ancestors were peasants, and what's wrong with peasants anyway? And there were several sections of hedgerow lining the lanes and fields where I'd see a small flock them every time I went for a walk, especially in the late autumn, winter, and through the spring while the hedges were neatly trimmed with flat tops. They usually twittered as I walked past, and it was nice to think they were offering a greeting even though they probably weren't.

But this year they disappeared. Completely. No sparrows in the garden, and no sparrows on any of the lanes. Not a single one. It went on for months while the hot, dry summer lasted, and I was obviously curious to know what had happened to them. I missed them, you know? I really did. My best guess was that they'd relocated to spots near the river a mile away where there was water to be had because bird numbers were low generally during the summer. But I still saw the odd robin, blackbird, dunnock, blue tit, and so on. So why no sparrows? Could the whole population have died out for some reason? I hoped not.

Today was a day for celebration because the were two of them on the bird table, one male and one female. I watched them for some time to make sure I wasn't mistaking them for the similar looking dunnocks, but no. They were unquestionably sparrows, and hopefully more will arrive soon and the peasant status quo will be re-established. If I see them tomorrow I'll ask them where they've been. And if I get a reply I'll be sure to report it here.

Latecomers.

Every year at around this time I report on the appearance of one or more skeins of geese flying overhead, honking loudly, and evidently heading for some place with a milder climate before the winter arrives. Tonight was the night. There were eighteen of them and they were headed ESE.

But then, a few minutes later, I saw another pair of birds coming from, and heading in, the same direction, and the sound they made was less of a honk and more of a quack. So what's that about? And why were they late.

(And they were definitely geese, by the way, just in case anyone thinks my eyesight or my judgement is fading with my mood.)

Virginia's Gift.

I'm warming to the writing of Virginia Woolf. 

 

Tonight I read one of her short stories called The New Dress. It's about a woman with a new yellow dress which she wears to attend a soiree at the house of Mrs Dalloway (the eponymous MC of a novel which I must read one day.) But she has a problem. She's utterly lacking any trace of self-esteem, and the whole work is a ramble on the issue. Over the course of eight pages she lays down her train of thoughts as she mingles dutifully with the other attendees, using metaphor, simile, memories, general allusions, and even logic. And she isn't truly mingling at all, of course, but seeing her shortcomings reflected back to her in every conversation and situation. A recurring theme in these rambles is that she isn't actually depressed, just flat, and the yellow dress is the fulcrum on which these many sided musings pivot.

I'm beginning to get the impression that all of Virginia's writings are effectively one long string of autobiographical fragments, strung together through a brilliantly perceptive mind and a penchant for prose which is perfect for the endeavour. Eight pages of self-absorption or not, I found it most compelling.

 

(I was meaning to write a post today about the growing sense that my own connection with this mortal life is fading -- not physically, but mentally. Hardly anything attracts my interest nowadays. When I'm not depressed, I feel flat. But maybe we've had enough self-absorption for one day, so I'll leave my own ramblings for another.)

The Eating Dilemma.

We think of eating as one of life's great pleasures, don't we? It's wired into us, presumably because a body has to eat in order to live and function normally. But I have a problem with it. 

One of the INFJ personality type's leading characteristics, or so the experts in such matters tell us, is the unconscious need to dive deeply into every subject and assess it from all angles (it's why we tend to be slow at making decisions) and if you do that, the practice of eating shows its dubious side. I wrote a long post about it in my head last night, but it was getting close to bed time and so I decided to leave writing it until today. Today I changed my mind because the main thrust of the piece was, should we say, unacceptably unsavoury. Instead, I'll just mention the way I was brought up with regard to the matter of eating.

My mother was raised in poor circumstances where social niceties held little sway, if any at all. It was also an unhappy upbringing, and I always had the impression that she wanted to adopt the mindset and -- where possible -- the mannerisms of the more genteel folks (and all without ever being snobbish, I might add.) She had spent time as a young woman working in service for a posh family somewhere in the more refined suburbs and had observed their habits with regard to meal times. And these she passed onto me in case I ever graduated to a more rarefied level so that I wouldn't let myself down. Eating came with strict rules which I took to heart in childhood and have never relinquished. They are:

1.Know the right table settings for cutlery, glasses, side plates etc so that you are always sure to use the correct implement.

2. Be diligent with regard to the rules of using such implements. They are immutable. Any careless descent into using your knife like a pencil or a skinning tool, or your fork like a coal shovel, will consign your reputation in the minds of the genteel to the grubbiest of gutters. And never allow your elbows to extend more than two inches from your waist whilst eating.

3. Only put small amounts of food in your mouth, so the fact that you are engaged in masticating is hardly visible on the outside. This even applies to casual eating of things like biscuits, cake, and pastries.

4. Keep your mouth tightly closed as long as there's even a small amount of food in it.

5. Never open your mouth to talk until you've swallowed everything.

6. Never take a drink while there's food in your mouth (because few working class habits are quite as disgusting as that one.)

7. Avoid picking things up with your hands. If there is a spoon or fork available, use it.

8. Never grunt while eating (as my step father did every meal time.)

 

So there you have it. Those genteel folks managed to devise a code with which to balance the necessity of the act with the unsavoury nature of the process. Clever, weren't they? And all this is one of the reasons why I would never go into a fast food joint even if I wanted to.

Confused By the Darkness.

I've been wondering all day how to make a post about the Christa Pike story, and I'm uncommonly confused as to what my feelings on the matter really are. I don't even know why it's bothering me so much. I suppose it's the layers of tragedy, the smell of injustice, the abject nature of capital punishment, the surreal denouement and presumed incompetence, the question of what will happen next... and probably more than I can think of at the moment. There's almost something of the blackest of comedy about it if only it weren't real

The one thing I can be sure of is that the whole affair will do no favour to the reputation of the USA justice system and the state of Louisiana in the minds of compassionate people everywhere.

No more. Too late.

Ronnie and the Reluctant Horses.

I encountered my first ever robotic lawn mower today. It went by the name of Ronnie, or so a small voice in my head suggested with not a little conviction. And it was quite small -- maybe 30 inches by 15 or thereabouts, and looking for all the world like a vacuum cleaner with a mind of its own -- and was wandering up and down a patch of grass on one side of somebody's boundary wall. I watched it for some time to assess how it knew when to go straight, when to turn, where to go next, and so on. There was an appendage at the front with a glass panel which I assumed read the height and spread of the grass in front of it in order to make an informed decision. My attention paid off because I was eventually afforded the opportunity to say 'you missed a bit' because it had. Modern technology isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know.

The real problem, however, was evident a little way along the lane. Two handsome palomino horses were standing by a farm gate looking a bit tetchy, while their two women riders had dismounted and were holding onto the bridles looking irritated.

'They won't go past that robot thing,' said one of them. I had the impression she was blaming me in the absence of easier alternative.

It's hardly surprising, though, is it? A vacuum cleaner wandering about on its own, apparently aimlessly to a horse's perception no doubt, and making a funny buzzing noise to boot. Maybe I should have gone back to the machine and said 'Morning Ronnie, and how are you today?' And maybe Ronnie, bless his mindless modernity, would have performed something approximating to an Irish jig and squeaked happily. And then the horses would have strolled past in all their haughtiness and everything would have been well with the world. Never thought of that.