You read a blog post. The person making it is young and struggling with a hurtful romantic problem (no, I’m not referring to you, C; you’re much stronger.) She gets a comment which is predictable, weak and woolly-minded. With all your experience in this field, you know that it isn’t going to help. In fact it would probably prolong the pain if it were taken. You want to disagree, to reverse the advice, but you have two reservations:
1 You know it’s the sort of problem that probably won’t respond to advice anyway. Applying logic to an emotional problem is like trying to extinguish a flame with a hammer. It doesn’t work unless the subject is strongly logic-driven, in which case they wouldn’t be in this emotional mess in the first place.
2 The commenter might well take offence at being gainsaid, and might abandon the subject’s blog. In that case you might have deprived the young woman of somebody she regards as a friend, and for no good reason other than to make your voice heard.
Saying nothing seemed the less damaging of the options.
2 comments:
This is why sometimes-a lot of the time- when people are in trouble, I just nod. And say nothing.
If the person is actually there, I find a sympathetic touch usually does far more good than any amount of advice.
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