The Salome Touch.

I was reminded tonight of that hoary old saying: ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’ What a weak and shabbily prosaic attitude that betrays. Of the five women I’ve lived with during my relatively short life to date, one stood out as easily the best cook by miles. The relationship was a disaster.

It’s only in recent years that I’ve discovered a profound truth: the way to my heart is not through my stomach, but through song and dance. And I’m not talking opera singers and ballet dancers here, but something rather more instinctive and organic. A woman who can sing or move well without really trying automatically gets a Pass Go and Collect £200 card. And isn’t it a shame that you should make such a discovery just when it’s too late to change your search terms?

Footnote:

A woman to whom I was once quite close said to me on several occasions: ‘Dancers have the best legs.’ Well, there you are.