The Fried Sausage Dilemma.

One of the greatest regrets of my life is that I’ve been quite unable to fry sausages. My mother always grilled sausages; all the women I’ve lived with grilled sausages; I’ve always grilled sausages. The ability to fry sausages has always been the fly in my culinary ointment.

This is a shame because I’m sure I’d like them very much. I’ve seen people do it on the TV and have tried to emulate them, but without success. I can’t seem to get the amount of oil right; I can’t seem to get the temperature right; and when I try to turn them they don’t stay turned, they roll back to their previous position which is most irritating. In consequence, the result is edible but hardly satisfactory.

‘Ah,’ you might say, ‘but you don’t eat sausages; you’re vegetarian.’ I know, but there is such a thing as the vegetarian sausage. I had two for my dinner tonight with a baked potato and vegetables. I cooked them in the oven with the potato because the instructions on the pack omitted to mention grilling as an option. The only options they offered were frying or cooking them in the oven. They even said for best results, fry the sausages. But I can’t fry sausages…