I want to do something erotic.
You mean you want sex?
No.
Oh. What then?
I want to take all my clothes off, and then I want you to rub baby oil into every square inch of my body.
Sounds messy.
You really haven’t got a soul, have you?
-----------------------------------------------
This isn’t a fantasy, it’s a memory. (Come to think of it, it’s both now.) The test is to guess which one is in italics. Here’s a clue:
I was wheeling my trolley around the supermarket today, when I felt something soft under my finger. It turned out to be a bogey (does anybody other than Brits call them bogeys?) Somebody must have picked their nose and then deposited the crop on the handle of the supermarket trolley. I wasn’t amused.
-------------------------------------------------
The good news: Sainsbury’s were selling litre bottles of Bells for £13 today. News doesn’t get much gooder than that.
6 comments:
I used to deposit them under my desk at school otherwise i flick them ;) bottles of fizz £ 6.99 for jacobs Creek ;) Rolled into my flat right royally pissed ;)
My stepfather used to eat his. In full view of everybody! Waste not, want not I suppose.
One thing I must see before I die:
Not Naples, but Melanie right royally pissed.
I would have passed out if i'd touched someone else's booger. Anything from the nose greatly sickens me...
Booger, is it? Right. Can't say I'm keen on coming into contact with things excreted by any orifice, Andrea. My mother had a particular difficulty with phlegm, which was troublesome when she was a geriatric nurse!
The big question, though: do Americans spell mucous with two u's?
Its Mucus here. And anything having do to with that makes me ill. Phlegm makes me sick. I worked in a medical office that specialized in respiratory equipment and treatment and anytime someone ordered a suction machine i felt sick. Especially as it was called a Yaunker, which is pronounced yonker. The name fit. I hate that word. Its used to suck mucus and phlegm out of trachiotomies, etc. Ok... enough.
Slurp...
Post a Comment