Belated Zombie Valentine.

It’s two months late because zombies take so long to get anywhere. I never understood why people find zombies menacing. You only have to blow on them and bits fall off. Where’s the menace?

Anyway, I’m sending this with my job application to Hallmark Cards. I fear it might be a bit too accomplished for their end of the market.

I wish I had a stone, she said,

I’d like to hit you on the head;

And bash and bash until you’re dead,

Then lay you out upon the bed

'Til all the linen's running red,

And feed you to my uncle Fred.

My internet connection is in zombie mode tonight – slow and stuttering. Better be careful I don’t sneeze in that direction.