Sunday, 17 April 2011

Bereft of Life...

So, tonight I was reduced to sucking the air out of a stubby beer bottle to create a vacuum, and then amusing myself by letting it dangle off my top lip. At this time of night, wouldn’t you think I’d just go to bed?

This is what comes of having had no e-mails for five days, and being entirely bereft of even the slightest prospect of entertaining a dusky maiden with a cup of cheer and my accustomed joie de vivre.

I did exchange a few words with a centipede journeying with apparent purpose across my kitchen floor earlier. Well, not exchange exactly. I talked and he walked. Or it might have been a she, I suppose. Not easy to tell with centipedes. Did you know that ‘centipede’ means ‘hundred feet?’ Thought you would. They don’t have a hundred feet, of course, but they do have rather fewer than a millipede, which also doesn’t have a thousand. That’s an example of the scientists’ mania for classification meeting the more right brained, figurative approach of the naturalist. I think.

2am. Mmm... Gardening today, more gardening tomorrow. I have to make something out of wood and glass to protect my carrots.

Is this the most scintillating post ever?

4 comments:

Zz... said...

you're cracking up- I think you should go to the pub and enjoy the companionship!!! i talk to the birds and plants myself ;)

JJ said...

I think you should come to Britain and talk to me. Your latest post on the standard of Aussie men is a bit disturbing.

Maria Sondule said...

I like doing that with bottles. It always disturbs my classmates when I pop it off though.

JJ said...

And you can get them to squeak really loudly if you practice hard enough.